So the truth is I hate nursing. I mean I really love it when it works, but I don't know what it is with my girls, but they honestly have troubles eating. I don't know where it comes from, because we can tell by pictures that Sam and I eat very well. :) Xenia has had troubles with her latch and therefore has caused some serious troubles for me. First, because of her terrible latch she wasn't expressing very much milk so she lost weight. At three weeks she still hasn't reached her birth weight. Second, because she wasn't expressing the milk, my milk supply has gone down, which makes my already slow flow even slower. Third, I have been having to go to doctors to check her weight. I have been having to go to lactation specialist to work with my supply and her latch. Fourth, I have to either be feeding or pumping all day. Fifth, when I am not pumping or feeding I have to make formula, heat bottles, or clean all the supplies. Sixth, on top of all this I have to keep my toddler off the fridge, who is getting gum, or trying to get the cereal, off the counters, out of the bathroom sink, out of the game closet, stop him from drawing on the walls, or trying to cook. He is very independent if you can't tell. Seventh, Now that I have to spend all my money on formula, so Xenia can gain weight, I am trying to save money by not buying diapers, so now on top of everything else I have to rinse, and clean cloth diapers. (I am also doing cloth diapers because I hate the thought of all those diapers in the landfill, and all the waste that goes into making diapers.) Eighth, now I have a body yeast infection, I think she has thrush, so on top of my already sore "body", which hasn't gotten better, all because of her poor latch, I am even sorer.
S0 here is to no time in the day to cook, (I wish I had time to prepare nutritious meals but if I can get one course on the table I am doing good.) No time to clean, ( My house is a disaster.) undisciplined kids, and a very painful nursing experience.
Why am I still nursing???!!!
5 comments:
I am soooo sorry! What a nightmare! Ouch and ow and wow and cloth diapers on top of everything?! Oh boy. Wish I lived closer so I could help bring over some dinner and for dessert...Cap'n Crunch bars (he he. J/K about the dessert!) I really hope things improve for you and Xenia. Hang in there. Hugs!
I wish I could come over and help. I'd get into my piece of junk car (that's long gone) and would be there in a split second. Love,Zsuzsanna
Yay for cloth diapering!
Oh, Eileen, I'm so so sorry. The newborn stage is already a little bit rough (trying to get adjusted), but when you add nursing issues it just makes it that much harder and emotional! I pray that things get better soon!
That is not fun! I think nursing is always hard at the beginning... Cloth diapers? Thrush? yeast infections? We will pray for you that it gets better!
ps. have you tried a nipple shield? save my boob, and helped them latch! Loved it.
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