I kept Cariña home from kindergarten because I wanted her to have the protection of home for as long as possible. I know that the teachers are usually good and the children are usually good, but I didn't want those exceptions to hurt my daughter.
I have been upset with the school. The reason today is breakfast! In this school, and probably many schools throughout the nation are serving breakfasts in the classroom. It is for all the students and is free. To be honest, I don't trust school lunches to be healthy enough for my daughter, (well anyone for that matter) But I can only do what I can do. So I was feeding Cariña at home, but it was no fun for her to watch everyone else eat breakfast. So I started packing a breakfast for her. Nothing crazy, just a peanut butter, (actually cashew butter, but who has to know! :)) with whole wheat bread and a fruit organic yogurt.
Anyway, today she was telling me that there is this girl, Jade who makes fun of her JUST because she brings breakfast. I can't stand parents who teach a child such a thing. Cariña said that this girl won't even stand next to her in line because she brings breakfast. Really what lame kids/parents.
So my question is this, do I sacrifice my ideals and morals (healthy food)and let her eat the school breakfast, so she can be accepted my uneducated and low self-esteemed kids, or do I not change anything and let he kids continue to make fun of her, in hopes that they will learn that different is not bad, (if they can ever get the message), or do I pull her out of school!? I would like some advice. I know what I am probably going to do, but I am interested to see what you guys think!
7 comments:
That's a tough situation. I can't really speak since I don't have children, but I think I would continue to make home-made healthy breakfasts and send her to school. I would take it as an opportunity to teach my child about differences and help her come up with options on how to handle the way others treat her. I think it is good for children to learn how to stand up for themselves and find ways to cope so that as they get older they can tackle more difficult situations. But that is my opinion. Good luck with what ever you choose!!
As a teacher - even though I teach middle school not elementary - I think it is important for kids to stand up for themselves. If they don't and "give in" it leads to a lot of trouble in the future. They notice other students making fun of their peers and join in. I think it would be a great teaching experience for her to realize that kids are brought up in different ways, that doesn't mean that any way is "better" and judging other people is not good. It also is good to help her realize that not everyone's opinions matter, who cares if that one girl is rude, she doesn't need to control other's choices or thoughts.
A lot of kids get teased in my school and they do get upset. The biggest thing I can ask them is if they care what the other person thinks and why are you letting them control your emotions or effect your life.
Sorry this is like a novel! let us know what you end up doing! We miss you a lot and hope your family is doing well.
Rune has been teased and excluded for most of his school life since second grade. It's painful to watch, but on the other hand it's been so great to see how he's dealt with it so maturely. After years of struggle he's now able to accept himself for who he is and is honestly been able to shake off most of the teasing. I feel like because of this he's got a much more solid self-esteem than kids who are still terrified of being teased or not having friends. He's loving Jr. High right now because of what he's learned. He's found that he has the power to control his feelings, that other people cannot MAKE him feel a way he doesn't want to feel. That power gives him a confidence that I definitely didn't have at his age.
I don't think Carina will be truly ostracized or anything but learning how to deal with teasing in a positive way can really help a kid.
I guess I have a couple questions. If you bring her later. . .after breakfast? Would she be counted tardy? I imagine it is not part of the teaching time. But they get touchy about being tardy. So check that out.
In finding out about that talk to the teacher about what she sees.
I agree with Sally. Though it's hard for Carina right now I think it will be better off if she learns how to deal with being made fun of.
Just as a non-helpful comment. I think breakfast as a class is dumb!
I agree with all the previous comments. It's not worth it to pull Carina out of school as you can't keep her in a bubble. Kids can always find reasons to be mean to each other. (So can adults.)That's life.
Just curious... What exactly are they serving for breakfast? Is it sugar cereal? Is it really fatty? Is it a whole bunch of processed food? Is it bad stuff every day? or just here and there? Is your concern that it's just not organic food? Does she want to just eat the breakfast like her classmates? Or does she want to each school lunch too? I fully admit, I'm speaking as a mother who has abandoned some of her principles about my kids' diets. :) (My first kid went through a six-month phase where I could barely get her to eat, period...And her toddler behavior would tank noticeable if she skipped a meal. So I finally caved and said, just eat something. Now that she's older, she's snapped out of some of it and can at least be reasoned with (or threatened -- you can't go tot he park with daddy until you eat three bites of carrots!) and she eats better. That said, I still feel a bit guilty...) So my initial reaction is two part: (a) dumb kids who make fun of her (don't they know how fantastic it is what you're doing for Carina) and (b) it's just one meal (a few days each week during nine/ten months of the year minus holidays and breaks). And it is her very first time away from home in that kind of social environment. This may just be an extra sensitive time for her. She may eat school food and realize your food is better and ask for you to start making her breakfasts again. :)
I don't know if it's too late to give advice, but I thought I'd give mine anyway.
First, I have to say that it's super annoying that they're serving breakfast in the classroom. I never had Kate eat breakfast at school either, but they served it in the lunch room, so it wasn't a big deal.
Anyway...my advice is to talk to the teacher or principal. At Kate's old school they took bullying VERY seriously! When Kate was getting bullied on the bus last year, we tried to give her our own advice on what to do, but it still continued. Finally, we talked to the school, and they seriously took care of it that very day. (We really should have talked to the school sooner!) It's sounds like this girl is being a bully to me and something should be done about it. This silly girl may not only be picking on Cariña, but someone else as well.
My biggest concern about talking to the school was that if the boy got in trouble he'd only pick on Kate more. However, the school got around that, and the boy seemed truly sorry in the end.
Good luck!
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